Uptown Narnia

Uptown Narnia

Uptown.  Upstate Manhattan.  The North.  Beyond the Wall (the wall here being not a thousand-foot-tall monolith of ice, but, let’s say, 155th St).  New Yorkers have all sorts of nicknames for the uppermost reaches of the island of Manhattan, some more flattering than others.

When my guests ask where I live, I usually say something like “the very top of Manhattan.”

“Oh, Harlem?”  They ask, nodding knowledgably.

“Further.”

That’s usually followed either by a blank stare or a less-confident “Washington Heights?” from the musical theatre fans.

“Nope, above that.”

At this point their eyes grow wide…there’s something above Washington Heights?

The Cloisters, Fort Tryon Park. Photo (c) Sarah Pencheff, 2019.

Far off the tourist-beaten path lies Inwood.  Up on northernmost edge of the island, where there’s no point in calling the two sides East and West because the whole thing is maybe 12 blocks wide, you’ll find the last remaining working-class neighborhood in NYC, and, (in my totally biased opinion), one of the best.

There are dozens of reasons to love this neighborhood, from its rich cultural history to the fact that there’s a Dutch farmhouse anachronistically chillin’ on Broadway, across the street from a gas station and the best liquor store in Manhattan.  But the one that snagged my heart the minute I stepped off the A train for the first time is the parks.

If you’re looking for the true Old New York, look no further than Inwood Hill Park.  A salt marsh, craggy outcroppings of rock, and a prehistoric forest where you can wander so deep you lose the sound of traffic, the landscape here gives you a true glimpse of what the island was like before it was artificially leveled by the urban development of the last 200 years.  Walking alone in the woods feels like the introduction to an episode of Law and Order, only I’m never quite sure if I’m going to be the body or the person who finds it.  That may not sound like a compliment, but believe me, it is.  “Alone” is not a common state of being in this city, and anywhere you can find it is a truly magical place indeed. 

My favourite place in the neighborhood, and possibly all of New York City, is Fort Tryon Park.  Designed by Frederick Law Olmstead, Jr., son of one half of the famous duo that designed Central Park, and paid for by John D. Rockefeller, Fort Tryon occupies a giant hill overlooking the Hudson River.  The park is home to the Cloisters—a museum cobbled together from pieces of various European monasteries and convents and home to one of the best collections of Medieval tapestries in the US—the Heather Garden, and sunsets over the Hudson that even make New Jersey look pretty.

But the best time to visit Fort Tryon is in the Winter, right after it snows.

In general, snow in New York City is magical for about an hour—then the streets and sidewalks turn into mountains of greyish slush, freezing puddles of indeterminate depth, and every pedestrian’s worst nightmare: black ice.

Photo (c) Sarah Pencheff, 2019

Fort Tryon, however, retains its magic. The leafless Winter trees clinging to the rocky hillside become an intricate latticework of glistening, ice-encrusted branches.  Winding paths traverse hills and tunnels, surrounded by snow-covered rock.  Victorian lampposts cast soft circles of light between the trees and one word repeats softly in the back of my mind as I wander through the unaccustomed quiet.

Narnia.

If you’ve ever wished to step through a wardrobe and into a land of magic, hop on the A train as the snow starts to fall and you’ll find yourself as close as you’re going to get.  Maybe I’ll see you there.  I’ll be the one hanging out under a lamppost, nibbling on Turkish Delight and waiting for Mr. Tumnus.

Eggs Benedict from the Source

Eggs Benedict from the Source

The Hidden New York Blog

Urban Spelunking at its Finest

I’m a big fan of Eggs Benedict.

Back in my East Village days, I would order it at the now defunct 7A religiously on Sunday afternoons. According to legend, it was invented as a hangover cure for one Lemuel Benedick–a Wall Street broker thus afflicted–and from those Sunday indulgences, I can personally testify to its efficacy as such. So when I found myself recently strolling around lower Manhattan after a tour, I decided to sample the version at Delmonico’s, where it is widely believed to have been invented.

The Waldorf Astoria takes exception with this claim, but based on the public record, Delmonico’s probably has the right of it. Eggs Benedict first appears as a recipe in The Epicurean, a cookbook written by Delmonico’s legendary Chef Charles Ranhofer, in 1894. The Waldorf rumor seems to have started with an article in The New Yorker published in 1942.

The kitchen at Delmonico’s, circa 1904

The current 56 Beaver Street location has been a Delmonico’s more or less continuously since 1837. Mindful of this storied history, the present owners maintain an elegant 19th Century decor that will make you half-expect former patrons like Mark Twain, “Diamond” Jim Brady, and Theodore Roosevelt to come walking through the door. Which, if you’re the kind of person to geek out on that sort of thing, is pretty awesome.

Not having planned to pop in, I wasn’t really dressed for the occasion. Rather than upscale broker, or even dressing-down tech start-up guy, I was sporting the eccentric tour guide look, right down to my signature Aussie outback hat. I ain’t gonna lie; the staff definitely seemed a little apprehensive when I first walked in, as if I might be part of an impending flashmob prank. But once I told them I was a tour guide looking for a damn fine Eggs Benedict, they warmed up right away and seated me in all my urban explorer glory.

So, how was it? The best I’ve ever had, and I’ve had ‘em all over the country. Crunchy muffins, thick ham, perfectly cooked eggs (not too hard, not too runny), a tasty sauce, and just to let you know you’re eating at a classy joint, a little caviar sprinkled on top. Yum.

So, if you want to eat at Delmonico’s, but your bank account won’t allow you to sample some of its pricier fare (or if your wife doesn’t eat steak, lobster, oysters, clam chowder, or anything else Delmonico’s is known for, as is my unfortunate situation), you can pop in for the Eggs Benedict anytime and it’ll only set you back about twenty bucks, with tip. That’s just a little more than you’d pay anyplace in Manhattan where ordering the Eggs Benedict wouldn’t constitute an act of supreme bravery. Bonus points if you go with a hangover…

hiddennewyorktours@gmail.com

646.981.3004

Why Do New Yorkers Hate Your Pizza?

Why Do New Yorkers Hate Your Pizza?

The Hidden New York Blog

Urban Spelunking at its Finest
A lot of transplants to the City look for yardsticks to measure the moment when they become legitimate “New Yorkers.” Here’s an easy one: do you order Domino’s by choice, and not just out of necessity at 4am after a night of hard drinking? If so, rest easy, you’re still a Michigander. If there’s one thing every native New Yorker can agree on, its that everyone else’s pizza is terrible. Really terrible. Get two New Yorkers together doing time at a Turkish prison, and in about five minutes they’ll start bonding over the lousy pizza in Istanbul. So why are we so particular about our pizza? Is it just because we invented the American variety? Well, no. We invented underground transit, but no one in their right mind would argue that our system is the most efficient. Or the cleanest.  Although, if you’re away from the city for too long you do start to miss that subway smell; a unique combination of burnt ozone and urine not to be found anywhere else in the world. At least not anyplace that I’ve ever been. And I’ve been a lot of places. If you know of a place, drop us a line.

The Croton Aqueduct, bringing fresh water to NYC since 1842.

The real reason is that the city that, even after 30 years of deep scrubbing, is still one of the filthiest, as if the grime of its seedy past just won’t ever give up the ghost completely, lucked into some of the world’s best water. Coming down from the Catskills, and naturally low in limestone content, New York water has a PH level of 7.2. “Pure” water has a PH level of 7.0. So, through an accident of geology, New York water is naturally close to perfect. Weird, right? No wonder then that when we try anything dough based in a foreign land–like say, Los Angeles–it sends us scurrying right back to our overpriced cubicles, resigned to forever forego sunshine in exchange for a good bagel. Even Angelenos won’t drink the toxic brew of cow manure and Roundup that passes for tap water out that way. So what kind of pizza are you going to get from it? Not a very good one. And besides that, what’s with the duck and pineapple toppings? That’s just an unforced error, right there. But its still not as bad as that time I had a slice in London that was covered in corn kernels. That’s right. Corn kernels. Not even fresh corn kernels. From a can. The horror. The horror . . . -Russ

hiddennewyorktours@gmail.com

646.981.3004